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=Ognil

The Dreamer, Eternal
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The Dream That came to Fall

Thu Dec 31, 2009, 3:55 AM
  • Mood: Shitty
  • Listening to: Death is the road to Awe
So it came to be, that 2009 was the worst year of my life, the year i was saved from a pit, only to be cast into a bottomless pit moments later. it is indeed like a nightmare, whom is at its worst when i am back here where it all began. Alas my soul has a safe haven, where it is kept ignorant and busy, with no time to think or realize.. that the Raison D'être that was, is no more.

This year the final realization came to me, for all these past years optimism have ruled the mind, kept it ignorant of truth, the truth of life. There is no meaning to life unless you find one, without a reason, there is no real reason to be alive.

I wrote in the year past this, that it was the worst, alas, i stand corrected, from this year and beyond, things will never be as they was, the emotions i experienced will forever elude me, For such is the truth of life.


I Am the Dreamer, and this is my dream that came to be, fall and shatter

2 Comments

Love Obscura

Wed Sep 9, 2009, 4:34 PM
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: nothing
  • Reading: nothing
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: aaaand, nothing
It was an evening of bloodshed and nazi-zombies, yet the air was full of romance.
As our lips met, my inside exploded as if an infinite number of fireflies appeared
They filled my heart and flustered trough the rest of my body.
It was not a long, but enough to have my body and mind shiver with delight

A few months of ecstasy, Bliss had never been greater
Yet, dark clouds appeared within the twilight
The mind twisted and tortured for weeks, wondering, dreading and hoping
Even tho with all the effort that a man could muster
the darkness consumed hope, and dread became the greatest of all

My soul torn to shreds,
A cry of primal pain and terror
was uttered from my twisted lungs.

Never before had the mind been in such chaos,
barriers long ago built, shredded in a second
fury, desperation, wrath and frustration leapt forward
filling the void where love had once thrived.

Thoughts never meant to be thought,
became reluctantly real as chaos raged
Thoughts that had been silenced by reason,
conquered the mind, madness was sown.

Flesh on flesh, the hands gripping.
Lungs gasping,
The seed of madness spring's forth

You my rose, the one I loved most of all,
you left me with a thorn that can never be removed
and vanished into obscurity.

Leaving a broken shell
the mind still functional,
never forgetting
never

For the memory still remains

No Comments

Once again

Journal Entry: Sat May 2, 2009, 5:18 AM
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: nothing
  • Reading: nothing
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: aaaand, nothing
What seemed to become one of the best years in my life... now seems to become justn another extremely crappy year in a line of crappy years.

Aaah, life, the greatest bitch of them all, once again comes flying in for the hardest groin kick i've ever had.

:star:Clubs I'm in:star:

:icontolkien: :iconmythicalfanclub: :iconsilenttalents: :iconunseen-photographers: :iconfour-seasons: :iconyouthphotographers: :iconnaturephotographer: :iconnotice-the-color: :iconbcome-seen:
17 Comments

I has been Tagged!

Journal Entry: Thu Jan 29, 2009, 2:14 AM
  • Mood: Attraction
  • Listening to: Scissor Sisters : I Can't Decide
  • Eating: your SOUL!
  • Drinking: Liquid Cookies
The Year of 2009 has arrived

Got dis from my love ;3 :iconethereallenne:

IN 2008 I:
[ ] stayed single
[x] got kissed
[x] kissed someone new
[x] made out
[ ] made out in a car
[ ] kissed in the snow
[ ] kissed in the rain
[x] fell in love
[ ] fell in love/like with a fool
[x] had my heart broken
[x] broke someone else's heart
[ ] had a stalker
[ ] lost a friend
[ ] had a good relationship with someone
[ ] questioned my sexual orientation
[ ] came out of my closet
[ ] got pregnant ( yes... ofc. I did... )
[ ] had an abortion
[ ] got married
[ ] had a divorce
[x] kissed someone of the same sex ( Unwillingly >:l )
[x] met someone that I will never forget
[ ] did something I regret
[ ] lost my true love
[x] lost faith in love for awhile
[ ] kissed under mistletoe
[x] got a job
[ ] got a promotion
[ ] changed jobs
[ ] lost my job
[ ] quit my job
[ ] dated a co-worker
[ ] dated my boss
[ ] dated my boss's son/daughter
[ ] got fired from my job
[ ] got straight A's
[ ] almost got straight A's ( not by a mile xP )
[ ] failed a class
[ ] cut class
[x] skipped school
[x] did something I was proud of
[x] proved myself an idiot
[ ] embarrassed myself in front of the class
[ ] fell in love with a teacher
[x] was involved in something that I will never forget
[x] painted a picture
[ ] wrote a poem
[ ] ran a mile
[x] listened to music I couldn't stand
[ ] double dipped
[ ] skinny dipped
[ ] went to a sleepover
[ ] went to camp
[ ] threw a surprise party
[ ] laughed until I cried
[ ] laughed till I peed my pants
[ ] flirted shamelessly
[x ] visited a foreign country
[ ] visited a foreign state
[ ] cooked a disastrous meal
[x ] lost something important to me
[x] got a gift I love
[x] realized something new about myself
[ ] tried to lose weight
[ ] dyed my hair
[ ] came close to losing my life ( mmh.. not sure )
[x] someone close to me died
[x] went to a wild party
[ ] got arrested
[x] read a great book
[x] saw a great movie
[ ] saw a movie so scary that it made me cry
[ ] saw a favorite band live
[ ] did something that I want to tell everyone
[x] experienced something new
[x] made new friends
[x] found out who your real friends are
[x] lied to your parents
[x] snuck out
[ ] got in trouble with police
[ ] kissed in a pool
[ ] kissed under the stars
[ ] did an illegal drug
[x] went to a party
[x] had the time of your life
[x] danced
[x] fell out of love/like
[x] had a crush on someone
[ ] changed your sexual preference
[x] swam in a pool
[x] made a snowman
[ ] went snowboarding
[ ] went sledding
[x] slept in past 2pm
[x] held someone's hand
[x] held someones hand that you care about
[ ] told someone you like them as more than a friend ( dont think soo... )
[x] gone on vacation
[ ] gone on vacation with a friend
[x] driven a car
[ ] played strip poker
[x] danced in the rain
[ ] seen someone get in a car accident ( almost ;P )
[ ] got in a fist fight
[x] laughed until you couldn't breathe
[ ] had an amazing year
[x] missed someone
[ ] got hit by car
[ ] sent someone to the hospital
[ ] got a new pet
[ ] enjoyed this year overall ( not by a mile... but have a feeling 09 will be quite good ;D )

:star:Clubs I'm in:star:

:icontolkien: :iconmythicalfanclub: :iconsilenttalents: :iconunseen-photographers: :iconfour-seasons: :iconyouthphotographers: :iconnaturephotographer: :iconnotice-the-color: :iconbcome-seen:
6 Comments

09

Journal Entry: Mon Jan 12, 2009, 5:58 AM
  • Mood: Adoration
  • Listening to: Rammstein
  • Drinking: Wasser
The Year of 2009 has arrived

And from the looks of it, 2009 seems to become an exiting new year, with many new things happening, and hopefully will also be a joyous year. It certainly seems to become that way :D

:star:Clubs I'm in:star:

:icontolkien: :iconmythicalfanclub: :iconsilenttalents: :iconunseen-photographers: :iconfour-seasons: :iconyouthphotographers: :iconnaturephotographer: :iconnotice-the-color: :iconbcome-seen:
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